What happened to my life
I must tell you first off it is hard for me to do this, I had never thought in a million years my life would take such a drastic turn. A little over 30 years ago I was involved in a motorcycle accident, through no fault of my own. Six years ago I was diagnosed with Degenerative Disk Disease (DDD). Today I live in a state of chronic pain as a result of this accident.
My life was going along pretty good I was a manager in an automobile dealership and making pretty decent money, other than wanting to work less hours I was doing well. Six years ago I started to have a very small annoying pain in my back that just wouldn’t go away. I decided to go to a doctor and find out what was wrong.
After several different x-rays and physicals my family doctor told me I had a bad disk in my back. He sent me to see a specialist to see if it was operable. I went and saw the top rated surgeon in my area, again more x-rays and more test where done. A few weeks later I went in for my consultation with the surgeon to find out I had 5 bad disks in my back. He went on to question me about any accidents I had been involved with in my life. I explained about the motorcycle accident back in 1978 and told him that was the only one I had ever been in. He told me that may be the cause of your problem and as you got older it became more apparent and more painful. He then explained that there is no operation that will fix all the problems I have, in fact if they did operate there was a better chance it would cause even more problems. He then told not only will the pain get worse but the only way to treat this is through pain management.
I took all this information back to my family doctors who explain that he wouldn’t be able to treat me because he just didn’t know enough about pain management, so he referred me to another specialist. I called that doctors office to set up an appointment to see him, it took over two months to get in.
Finally the day came for my appointment by this time my level of pain had gone from a 2 to a 4. I spent about 30 minutes with this doctor who told me all about my rights and responsibilities as well as what to expect from them. I thought I was having a meeting with a lawyer not a doctor. I had to sign all kinds of forms and fill out forms it was a paper factory. The form that struck me the worse was when it was telling me that I was about to become addicted to opiates. I remember thinking to myself that they are going to turn me into a drug addict. At that point with my pain being what it was I didn’t care I just wanted some relief. He them prescribe a medication call “Kadan” it is a form of morphine. This was used for long term relief and then they gave me “Lora tabs” for the break through pain. I can remember walking out of the doctor’s office thing oh my god what is happening to me.
As the time went by my pain levels in creased the medications increased and the side effects of the medication increased as well. I really don’t want to go into all the side effects of this medication because they are not to pretty.
After about two years of going to this doctor I felt like we were not making any progress at all, every time I went to an office visit I felt like I was just being herded in and herded out. No seemed to give a dam about how I felt all they cared about was making sure you where in enough pain to keep coming back. That’s the way it seemed anyway, you had to roll a pair of dice every time you went in and if you rolled even pair you had to go take a urinals test to see what kind of drugs where in your system and to make sure you where in fact using your medication and not selling it on the street. To beat that you had to pay for test out of your own pocket because insurance wouldn’t cover it and neither would thee doctor. I’m sorry but that’s not medical care to me that’s running a licensed dope operation. Not only was I feeling let down I was also pretty pissed too.
Through the recommendation of a friend I went and saw another pain management doctor. After I met with him he seemed to care more about his patients than the other doctor so I started to use him for my treatment. With in about six months he got the medication to a level where I could function better on a day to day routine.
I have been seeing this doctor for about three years now. My pain level today without medication is about a 9, and could be a ten I just don’t ever want to feel that. However since all this time has passed I lost my job well a few jobs if want to know the truth because I just can’t keep up the pace required for that type of work. I would come home every night feeling like I had been hit by a train, it was terrible so I had to step down and now I am just selling cars. The biggest problem with that today is I can’t stay on my feet or walk around for more than fifteen to twenty minutes before I have to sit down. Try to remember the last time you had an ear ache or a tooth ache and someone just wanted to hold a conversation with you that was the last thing in the world you wanted to do wasn’t it. That’s what it’s like for me if I get a customer and my pain level goes over a four I have no desire to talk to anyone let alone try to sell them a car. So needless to say at this point my success selling cars is not been good. I have lost over 50% of my annual income and it still keeps dropping.
I am running out of options I have tried to get work in other fields but with the lack of experience and my age I have not been able to find anything that would work. While I was in a session with my physiatrist, yes depression is one of the side effects to chronic pain. Well while we where talk one day he told me about Vocational Rehab centers. He explained that I would qualify for assistance through them for help in finding work.
Not feeling real confident that anyone could help me at this point I did call and set up an appointment out of desperation. Again I think it took over two months to get in and see someone. When that day came I went in and filled out some more forms and talk with the lady for about twenty minutes or so, she told me she would have to wait until she heard back from my doctor’s offices before she could determine if I was qualified for assistance. After two weeks and having heard nothing back I called there office to find out what was going on. She explained the delay and set up another appointment in a week. Not feeling to confident I went to the appointment and saw the same person (don’t get the wrong idea here she was very nice and extremely helpful to me) well we sat down he she proceeded to tell me I was in fact qualified for assistance, she then explained there was one of two ways she could help. The first was to help me find a job that would be easier for me to handle and the second was to help me get into college. Well I was floored by this and said you mean you can help me to go to school and pay for it, she replied yes if you meet the right criteria, ok here it comes. She went on to explain everything I need to do but because I made over 60,000 dollars in 2006 it wasn’t likely I would get any assistances.
This started a three month campaign for me, I had to go to several different schools to figure out which one I wanted to go to, I also had to fill out all the right forms for federal aid and fill out the papers for acceptance into the school. I had decided to go to Indiana University Southeast for several different reasons which I won’t go into right now. I was turned down for any federal help due to the income I made the year before, but while doing my research I found out the school offered a program for people who have taken a big dive in income for one year to the next and who had been out of work for at least 10 weeks through no fault of their one. I fit into that scenario like a glove. So I filled out all that paper work and did and essay for it too. After a month or so the board decided I was a good candidate for the program.
To this day I don’t know how it worked but after they took into consideration my entire medical expenses and other things they were able to drop my income level to a point that I did qualify for federal assistance. Because I qualified for federal money that vocational Rehab could also step up and help. Things where really starting to look up in my life, I felt like I still had a fighting chance here.
In January of 2008 I started my freshman year in college. I am thrilled to death by this opportunity I have been given, so much so I have dedicated the rest of my life to help find out the answers to why people suffer from chronic pain and what I can do to help. I am studding for a degree in computer science so I can go to the front lines of medical research and use my computer knowledge to help I the fight for a cure.
I still have some problems to deal with because I go to school at night and work full time during the day, this has been very difficult to say the least. I am very determined to accomplish this goal of mine, no matter what it takes. I think in my mind that I will be crucial key in the research need to find a better way to treat chronic pain so I owe it to everyone else out there that suffers to complete my goal.
Right now I am reaching out to find help in the way of scholarships or grants to help me pay what vocation rehab can’t pay towards my schooling. I would even like to go to school full time but I’m sure that’s asking too much for someone to foot my bills until I graduate from school, but that would be the ideal situation for me. For now I just want to get my associates degree so I can get my foot in the right door then I will go on for my bachelor’s degree and may be even my masters. One step at a time and I know this is going to take some time but as I said before this is a life time commitment I am making.
Many times you see it on T.V. or read about it somewhere when someone who is trying to overcome a large disability to achieve some great feat in life, someone steps up and helps them. I know I am not the only person in the world with a problem or a disability and by far mine is nowhere near as bad as many. I am just asking that you help me and make an investment that could help so many other people out there. I don’t want to sound selfish here I just know in my heart this is what I was meant to do with my life my only regret is that I didn’t figure it out sooner. Everything happens for a reason and instead of just lying down and giving into this disease of mine I want to fight it. So please if you or someone you know can help in my efforts pass this information off to them. If you wish more information about me or my cause please don’t hesitate to contact me.
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